The end is never as satisfying as the journey.

I’m taking a break from packing my bags.  It’s my last night here in California, at the LIFE experience.   It’s definitely a bittersweet moment.  I’m excited to be going home to see my family and friends, but I have to admit that I’m not quite ready to be leaving.

It’s been such an awesome experience here.  I’ve only scratched the surface of what I experienced here in the blog, and it’s mostly been self-reflective.  I’ll spend some time writing over the next few days – there’s still lots of stuff that I’d like to share about the experience.  From my “TBA” experiences to my new found love of spinning, I still have stories to tell.  And of course, I’m eager to tell you about my final measurements, lbs lost, etc.

And let’s be clear – this is not the end of the journey!  For the first time in years I feel like I’m on the right path health-wise.  In fact, I feel quite….capable, if that makes sense.  I’m getting fitter every day, I’ve seen serious results and I can see where the hard work will take me.  I can’t imagine going home and NOT keeping up with the exercise.  I’m still working on a real plan, but I’ve got some ideas.   I think that a return trip to LIFE is in my future – I think that a little more time could be just what I need.  Dance class is high on the agenda, along with (of all things) running!  I’d like to run a full 5K without stopping.  I’ve already jogged/walked 2.2 miles in the sand, so adding another .7 miles and working on my speed should be totally doable.  Thanks to Carlos for the idea (and all the support along the way).

Speaking of support, there’s no way I could have done this without all of YOUR support.  The comments on this blog (and on Twitter and Facebook) have been incredibly motivating and supportive.  Every time I was feeling a bit low, I could just read your comments and remember how many people were pulling for me!  You are the wind beneath my wings.

gak.  Sorry just choked a lil’ on the sap.  hehehe.

So even tho I’m leaving Cali (for now), keep an eye on this blog.  More stories to come, both on my time at LIFE and my continuing journey towards being the athlete I think it somewhere inside me.

If I do release that inner athlete, do I have to beat up nerds in the locker room?  I mean, usually I like to DATE nerds.  Maybe beating them up will put a damper on the ole’ love life.  I’m going to have to think about this.

The Food

One thing I haven’t talked much about is the food I’m eating while I’m here in sunny California.  Diet is actually an equally important part of the program here at LIFE, a complement to the exercise program.

All of our food is provided by California Fresh & Fit, an awesome meal-preparation and delivery company founded by the same dude who runs LIFE.  Every night, 4 meals are delivered to my apartment and put in my refrigerator (there is a small team working with LIFE, so they have a key to my apartment).  I choose the meals on the website in advance from a few options and the food is made fresh daily – a bit like eating leftovers sometimes, but mostly really good leftovers! Today I had breakfast tacos, a meatball sub (a tiny one anyway), seafood spaghetti, and pork tenderloin.  Veggies with all of course.

Even better is that several times a week, the chefs come to the workout facility and make us breakfast, lunch or dinner!  I think these hot meals make a HUGE difference in the quality of the experience.  We’ve had peanut butter pancakes and turkey bacon, glazed salmon and quinoa, and even sandwiches (every Saturday – my favorite!).  Masud, Robert and Seong not only serve us lovely food, they are very much a part of the LIFE experience.  They are very knowledgeable about what makes for healthy food and encouraging about the program in general.   Plus Masud gives a proper high-five; Seong is always super nice; and Robert is cute with his tattoos and muscles and seems to like my “Little Miss Naughty” t-shirt.

Each meal is carefully portion controlled.  I’m a “B.”  I get about 29g of carbs and 23g of protein in each meal – I think its about 1300 calories.  Smaller girls are “A” and there’s “C” and “D” for people with more weight to lose (and boys, generally). There’s only a few hundred calories separating the 4 groups, so the difference is not huge.

I started out on “C” and actually told them it was too much food (and I can put away some food).  But when you’re eating so often (5 times a day – the 4 meals and a protein shake or bar), I’m literally never hungry.  Quite often I have trouble eating the last meal.  I still struggle with cravings (sugar especially – I never realized what a sweet tooth I have!).

All and all the food is very good.  Well- balanced between carbs, protein and fat.  I think we could all use more fruits and veggies.  We do get salad a lot and a few veggies, but there is a definite bent against fruit because of the sugar.  I love breakfast because sometimes I’ll get three big strawberries or a few pieces of melon. But I can’t complain – its working! They even gave a cooking class, so I’m sure some of you will be invited to my house while I try out my new healthy cooking skills.

When I get home, I’ll have to figure out how to incorporate this best into my life.  A big challenge for me will to eat more veggies and fruits every day.  Not sure I can do 5 little meals a day – but 4 might be realistic.  I have realized that I can eat a LOT LESS and be satisfied.  I think portion control will be the biggest lesson I take with me.

I’m still learning, that’s for sure!! But I’m excited to try something new.

TBA

So there are three “levels” here at LIFE.  It’s somewhat loose, but many activies are divided into 1/2′s or 2/3′s.  So if we do a bootcamp in the gym, and you’re a 1, you’re ususally going to be with other 1/2′s.  Of course, there are exceptions – for instance Saturday bootcamp is for all, regardless of level. 

Well I’ve just been “promoted” to level 2, so I have some 2/3 activies this afternoon!

Right after lunch, I have TBA with Schuyler, one of our trainers.  What is TBA you ask?  “To Be Announced” of course.  But that’s kind of a lie.  We already know what what we’re doing.  We’ll be playing flag football.  Why do they call it TBA?  It’s some kind of inside joke.  Whenever it says “TBA” it means  you have football.  Ahhh, inside jokes that no one gets…gotta love them!!

FOOTBALL!  I texted my friend who’s been at the camp for a while, and I said “I have TBA tomm.  Will I die?” He texted back “No. LOL“

Bring it on boys.  Maybe I’ll discover I’m a wicked blocker and I’ve just been unaware all these years  

Umm, but yeah, I might die.  But I’m excited!!!

Third week…milestones and mulling it over.

I can’t really believe I’ve been in California for 3 weeks.  There’s only one week left on this first leg of my quest (come on y’all, my ass* ain’t so small that I lost it all in four weeks; there’s some work to be done when I get home.  Not that my ass ain’t awesome…it could just be a little “less” awesome hehehe).

I feel like I really kicked into a higher gear this past week.  I reached a few milestones which I’ve mentioned in earlier blog posts.  Shaved 18 minutes off my time climbing the mountain, lost 10 lbs, swam a mile in an hour and 5 minutes, and ran 2.2 miles in the sand in an hour and 5 minutes.  (I seem to always require an extra 5 minutes).  As I’ve mentioned before, I believe that the real improvement is mental.  There’s no question I’ve made physical progress over the last three weeks, but I think that it has a lot to do with my new attitude.  Leaving the fear and doubt behind me is not easy when it comes to this athletic stuff – I’m not 100% there, but I’ve never felt more in control of my body’s destiny, so to speak.

God I sound like a hippie self-help book.   Whatever. I’m enjoying it, dig?

I’ve also been thinking a lot about what happens next.  I’m quite sad that I’m leaving – I feel like another few weeks could make a huge difference for me in terms of getting where I want to go.  But I also miss home (and of course I do have a job!).  So I’ve got to do a bit of ‘mulling over’ my next steps.  What do I need to do when I go home to keep this train on track?  Kerry Jo may get home on the 28th, but “Go Kerry Jo” isn’t ready to close up shop just yet.    I gotta come up with some concrete goals and plans to keep myself moving forward.  Any ideas? 

*readers under 18, please substitute the word “bottom” for “ass.”

Size matters not…look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmmm? Hmm?

I thought I’d share some hard stats to give you an idea of how far I’ve come.

Week 1:  I lost 3 lbs.  I lost 7 inches in total (two around my waist, two in my tatas (!!!) and a few scattered inches elsewhere.

Week 2:  I lost 4 lbs. No measurement.

Week 3 (so far):  Lost an additional 3 lbs already!

Total:  10 lbs in 2.5 weeks!

We did my dunk again on Wednesday and I’ve actually lost 10.3 lbs of fat and gained 0.3lbs of lean body mass (muscle baby, yeah!)  Ok, not a ton of muscle, but I was already working out w/ weights before I came, so that’s to be expected.  I need to lose fat more than I need to gain muscle.

I’m burning, on average, 2300 calories or more a day.  I’m eating around 1300 calories a day.  A pound is about 3500 calories.  So the math is in my favor.  I’m actively trying to increase my calorie burn per day – looking to get up to 3500/day.

I’m definitely not thinking in terms of weight lost tho; just think about the improvement on the mountain – I shaved about 20% off my time. The Santa Monica Stairs – I did 3 the first time and a week later I did 4 ½!!!  I’m hoping I make it to 6 before I leave.  And instead of walking the mile on the beach that makes up our “Pier Run,” I jog a good portion of it. I’m going further and faster every!  I’m most excited by the fact that I swam a FULL MILE in an hour this week – 64 lengths of the pool.  The last time I only swam 50, so I’m really proud!!!

And mentally – well I’ve got more stamina than I ever thought I had.  I’m discovering that stamina and endurance are about 80% mental and 20% physical.  The more I allow myself to think I can go another few steps or repetitions, the more likely I am to do it.

I’m heeding Master Yoda. “Do or do not.  There is no try.”

Ain’t no mountain high enough…

So one of the things we do often here is the “Hike.”  We drive over to the Temescal Ridge Trail and we hike up!

Our mountain is steep – you climb about 1000 feet.  Not only that, it’s got a ton of switchbacks, so (especially the first time) it’s hard to tell how much further you have to get to the top.  The trail is dusty and hot, although for a lot of the trail there is at least some shade from the dry briar bushes and even some trees (depending on where in the hike you are).

The first time I did the hike (last week, during week 2), it took me one hour and fifteen minutes to reach the top.  Now that includes the 8ish minutes that my trainer thought I was lost and yelled over the mountain for me to stay still.  S’ok, I needed the break.

I was not lost by the way.  Just for the record.

Anyhoo, we did the hike again on Monday.  And get this – I made it up in ONE HOUR.  I shaved 15 minutes off my time.  Even if you don’t count my “lost” break, I improved my time by like 8 or 9 minutes.  Whooo! And coming down is fast (harder on the knees tho..I usually ice them up afterwards).

The mountain is hard.  The last few hundred feet you are sweating like a stuck pig, hot, tired, and your legs feel like they just….can’t…..do….it….anymore.  But you know what?  They can.  And they did!

Now this trail isn’t the toughest in the world.  Some of the folks at a higher fitness level actually bike to the canyon, hike up, and then bike back!  But its tough for a newbie like me.  Soon enough I’ll be jogging up there y’all.

Addendum:  I hiked this trail again on Wednesday (a day after I wrote this post) and beat my time by another 3 minutes!  Whooo!  Now that said, I thought I was on time to beat myself by 10, and hustled up the “last hill” only to realize I still had a while to go.  I almost laid down right there

Spinning my wheels.

So it has been a quiet few days…well, not really.  Just on my blog.

It’s Tuesday of my third week as I write this.  I think I’ll tell you a little about this afternoon’s spin class.  For those of you who have taken a spin class…well I’m sorry.  For those that haven’t, let me describe:

For one hour, you sit your butt on a bike seat that feels as if it is made of pointed sticks.  You put your feet on the petals and start cycling, but unlike a regular stationary bike, you quickly build a ton of momentum.  The wheels spin faster than your legs do, so you have to be really careful not to just STOP. If you did I think that your knee would be torn right off your leg!

During the hour you petal – faster, slower, faster, slower, standing up, sitting down, standing up, sitting down, with weights and without.  When you stand up, your thighs feel like they are going to spontaneously combust.  When you sit down, you start to wonder if having children will be an option after the class.

I kid, I kid.

Well, not really.  But here’s one thing I will say:  today was my second spin class.  The first (during week 1) was an all-out disaster.  I could barely sit on the seat much less stay standing for any length of time.  But today, I felt pretty good – I kept up with the class and actually enjoyed it (the loud 80s music didn’t hurt).  It was a slightly more beginner class, but I’m also MUCH stronger.  And talk about calorie burn – I think I burned like 700 in an hour.

This class is just an exceptionally clear example of how far I’ve come in just two weeks.  Not only was I stronger, but also I was much more willing to just hang in there until I finished.  Two weeks ago, it was too easy to give up – I’ve got a little more fight in me now.

A little fight in me. This quest is reminding me that a little fight is a good thing.  In fact, lately, I feel I’ve forgotten that not only can I fight, but I should.  Not for the sake of fighting, but to fight for what I need, for what I believe, or even more likely – to fight the forces of inertia and fear that overtake me sometimes (all of us sometimes, I’m sure).

So here’s to the next fight.  I can totally take ‘em.

First impressions….the program.

So if you haven’t ready my schedule post yet, I encourage you to take a look at the wackiness of my daily life.  That’s truly an average day here at L.I.F.E.  Which by the way, I’m just going to call LIFE.  It’s painful to type in all the periods.  I’m doing all this damn workout stuff – I’m allowed to be lazy with my punctuation.

I’ll start with the other participants.  There are about 27 of us doing the program at the moment.  A whole mess of new people came in the same day as I did…I guess the end of August was pretty slow.  Who are there other people?

Interestingly enough, they don’t fit easily into a box.  There are a few ladies who are older than me – between 50 and 60 – who are looking to lose some weight and get into shape, some staying for a week some for 4 weeks.  A few closer to my age doing the same.  They are from all over – one of my new friends is from Lebanon!

There is at least one professional athlete (girl, a snowboarder) who is training.  There’s two guys who have lost 25-50 lbs on their own and want to tone up and get into shape.  One is a dentist.   There are 2 guys that are spending 8 and 12 months here respectively and hope to lose literally hundreds of pounds.   There’s a casting director for a popular television show who is a pistol…she’s here just two weeks.  There’s some folks who have already been here as many as 9 weeks and are staying another 10.  Everyone is different levels of fitness…I’m fitter than some, many are fitter than me.

3-4 weeks is a popular length of time to stay…but by no means am I “long-term” compared to some of these folks who are dedicating months (or even a year) to change their bodies.

The trainers I’ve worked with so far have been very encouraging, and seem knowledgeable.  My favorites so far are Rob and Marco.  I have worked with trainers before, so at least I had some idea of what to expect!  For the most part, I’ve found them very encouraging and they push you in a good way.

There have been some hiccups….they signed me up for a bike ride even tho I don’t ride a bike (yes, I’d told them), you’re not sure who to talk to about the internet not working.  I thought I had a massage appt, but after rushing to take a shower and then waiting 1/2 hour after the day ended I found out it was not to be.  But mostly things have been smooth.  I think having so many new people start the same week was a challenge for the LIFE team…I imagine it’s not always so feast or famine!

They mix it up quite a bit – every day is different.  There’s never a chance to get bored.  I go from weight/circuit training to volleyball on the beach to swimming to yoga – there was even a “cardio movie” where we all did cardio while watching “Adventureland.”  Kinda fun way to spend a Thursday night, with Ryan Reynolds and that chick from Twilight.

Saturdays = boot camp on the beach, which was absolutely the hardest thing I’ve done so far.  That deserves its  own entry.

Best outcome of the first week? Feeling like I can make it though the next month.  There was no activity where I was unable to “show-up,”  I didn’t always finish every exercise, and I didn’t always keep up with the pack, but for the most part, I’m going to say I finished 85%.  Which I think is DAMN GOOD considering what I’m up against here.

I can do this.  And I will!  And Ryan Reynolds will totally leave that Scarlett chick for me.

Ok, maybe not that third thing.  But the other two?  Totally!

Pity party officially over…

Cause today I feel AWESOME.  I woke up this morning feeling like I could conquer the world.  Who knew?  It musta been the cool Cali air, or the 10 good hours of sleep.  Forget the pity party.

Today I did the “Pier Run” again.  That was one of my first activities last week – the one that broke me a bit (cried and all).  Today – no problemo.  I didn’t worry so much about getting to the end, instead I just focused on getting my butt moving.  Remarkably, I felt faster today!  My heart rate was lower so I even jogged off and on the last 15 minutes.

As April mentioned in the comments from yesterday’s post, “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”  It takes time to build up endurance.  It doesn’t happen overnight.  But I can feel the difference, even after a week.  So it will happen…I just gotta be patient and keep pushing myself!

In other news I have a sweat rash. I’ll spare you the details.  Seriously?  Seriously?  I’m going to try and crash a dermatologist tomorrow.

What?  You didn’t want the nitty-gritty details?  A QUEST ISN’T ALWAYS PRETTY, boys and girls!

Week two: “Why can’t I move? Why am I up against this wall?”

“You’ve been mostly-dead all day.”

I felt this Princess Bride quote appropriate.  As I write this, I’m one week into the program and am feeling mostly dead.  My legs are tired.  My arms are tired.  I have two blisters on my right foot.  My right side is….stichey.  I don’t know what that means, but it feels….stichey.  My right abductor muscle is sore. I move like a 90 year old woman with arthritis whenever I’m NOT working out.

Complain complain complain.

I guess it was going to happen eventually.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still siked to be here and all that.  But I’m tired.  I think this second week will be harder in a lot of ways than the first.  While the first week was all unknown – “just keep going KJ, you’ll get thru it!” this second week is a known quantity.  I KNOW how hard it’s going to be.  I KNOW how much effort its going to take.

But that’s ok.  And it seems to be a fairly normal progression.  Others who have been here for a few weeks already all say the same thing…the first week is brutal, the second week is, well, brutal and then the third week it starts to feel good.  Everyone I’ve spoken to says that by the third week, you’ll be feeling the way you want to feel when you go home.

So here’s holding out hope.  And I’ll be keeping all of your AWESOME comments and support in mind…seriously, the outpouring of love and support and advice has been amazing.  I think one of the most important things I’ll get from this experience is a stark reminder of how many awesome, caring people are in my life.

Cheers to that.  That kind of love will get my butt in gear any day!